Is he a gentle man?

                                                             Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley from Pride and Prejudice

Today at work I was thinking over all the things I’ve heard girls say about “the guy they want to marry” (add a dreamy look in the eyes). I’ve heard everything from, “I don’t really care what he’s like if he loves me” to “I want to marry a real man.” That made me think about my own ideals. I kept thinking, and I decided I didn’t want to marry a man. I want to marry a gentle man. More commonly known as a gentleman. Most girls (and guys!!) think of a gentleman like a guy from Pride and Prejudice in an old-fashioned suit and hat, pompus airs, lived long ago, and really has no bearing on our lives. But the question pops up–“is that what a gentleman is???” My answer would be, no.

You see, in my book a gentleman is something very different. I grew up with 2 brothers. One older by 2 years and one younger by 10 years. My parents tried to instill respect for women in them from the beginning by having them hold the door for my mom and me, letting us take the first bite at meals, and being very curteous to women. They’d always say, “Josh, hold the door for your mom. Be a gentleman.” So that leads me to wonder, “is a gentleman more than just a dude in a cool suit?”

To guys, “gentleman” can carry a negative connotation. “You mean I have to be weak?” No no no no no. That’s missing the whole point. defines gentle as:

“1. Kindly, amiable

2. Not severe, rough, or violent

3. Polite,  refined”

I think in a gentle man, gentleness works hand in hand with meekness. The man is kindly, polite, not rough, but only because he has the self-control to be so. It does not mean that he is weak in any way, just that he has the strength to choose to treat women, other men, animals, store clerks, the guy at the gas station, friends, co-workers, all with respect. That my friends, is a true gentle man.

Now I’m going to have to go watch Pride and Prejudice. 🙂


February 23, 2008. Tags: , , . Lessons from God.

One Comment

  1. Emily replied:

    Ugh! You like that Pride and Prejudice? hehe… pet peeve of mine, but I much prefer the 1995 version with Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle. 😀
    Anyhow… I agree about what makes a true gentlemen – they’re scarce, but theyre out there! (try my dad)
    Emily (rebelutionary who needs to update her blog) 😛

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